He stands there, steady, quiet and still.
They rant and rage. They have their fill.
Then utters he three words - that is all.
And piece by piece, their kingdom falls.
“I’m placing my thoughts elsewhere
While you chatter away,”
Said Mr Stevens, with a smile,
In The Remains of the Day.
He’s moving the dustpan,
And dusting the eaves -
But please kiss Miss Kenton,
Mr Stevens - please.
She’s now in your study -
She’s giving you looks -
Kiss her, Mr Stevens,
Amongst your mantelpiece and books.
The force that attracts all objects to all other objects,
The result of the curvature of space-time -
Keep this tether
And manoeuvre when you need to
And be that spoon for me
And I’ll be yours
Beards are considered more attractive when they are rare, but less so as they become more common, new research suggests.
When too many people start following a fashion trend,
the less valuable it becomes,
and what was once considered trendy,
starts to decline in popularity.
All of which is well and good, and explains the declined currency
in flared pants
and the constant shrubberish flux
in wanted/unwanted body hair.
But Friends, we are faced with a dire human tragedy
of astounding proportions:
for male business suits,
along with that modern-day painted phallus, the tie,
are no longer regarded as a fashion trend.
Sadly: more men are wearing them than ever before
and the difference between them all is as negligible
as the singularity at the bottom of a Black Hole
where physics no longer has any meaning.
Even the modern-day painted phallus
is often the same shade of Blue. With stripes.
And it’s not even that shade
which Dulux Paints would probably call
And so: more men are wearing them than ever before.
And yet their currency remains
And they are not becoming less valuable.
And whether they were ever trendy
Is a point now moot.
Because they are with us. Forever.
42 year old male professional,
Rational, mature, has faith in science
Seeks warm blanket
(A tartan one with the little tassels on it)
To hide under
And draw up to his chin
To avert the goosebumps
And the chill
From this horror movie
which has demonic entities in it